Adebimpe cringed when the message popped up in their secondary school WhatsApp group, her classmate Kehinde Philips was getting married in the next 3 months. She posted the wedding details, Aso-ebi colour and prices for those who will be available for the wedding. Kehinde Philips was supposed to be her best girl after they left secondary school because they kept in touch often, she was getting married and didn’t think it good to inform her before telling others.
She flashed back to the same thing Kathryn Daniels did, they were close friends throughout university days, she knew of her different exploits and when she got married she couldn’t attend because of COVID 19. “I couldn’t ask her if she got pregnant yet or not because of her past; I didn’t want to add to the pressure she might be feeling, hmmm! I saw it on someone else’s status that she just delivered a baby boy”. This is sad. Do these people think I wouldn’t ever find a man or get married let alone have a baby? Different emotions ran through her mind, hate, anger, jealousy, disappointment and the ones she couldn’t even describe. Yes, she didn’t have a man in her life, she has been single for years and it seems she might be forgotten by God, she felt pain in her heart. All her friends from both secondary and university days were either married, engaged or in a serious relationship leading to marriage.
How could she be happy for these ones? how could she not hate them for being so lucky with men? How could she wait patiently on God for the man he has for her without resentment? How??!
Emotions are a strong feeling deriving from one’s circumstances, mood, or relationships with others. Our emotions could either be positive or negative, depending on how well we manage them. Our emotions are important because they helps us build better relationships. That’s because being aware of our emotions can help us talk about feelings more clearly, avoid or resolve conflicts better, and move past difficult feelings more easily.
Some people are naturally more in touch with their emotions than others. The good news is, everyone can be more aware of and master their emotions. It just takes practice, but it’s worth the effort.
Emotional awareness is the first step toward building emotional intelligence, a skill that can help people succeed in life. Emotional awareness helps us know what we need and want (or don’t want!). It helps us build better relationships. That’s because being aware of our emotions can help us talk about feelings more clearly, avoid or resolve conflicts better, and move past difficult feelings more easily.
Few things we need to know to be more aware of, as regards our emotions:
- Emotions come and go. Most of us feel different emotions throughout the day. Some last just a few seconds, others might linger to become a mood.
- Emotions can be mild, intense, or anywhere in between. The intensity of an emotion can depend on the situation and on the person.
- There are no good or bad emotions, but there are good and bad ways of expressing (or acting on them).
Some emotions feel positive — like feeling happy, loving, confident, inspired, cheerful, interested, grateful, or included. Other emotions can seem more negative — like feeling angry, resentful, afraid, ashamed, guilty, sad, worried or fearful. Our emotions need to be taken care of by ourselves, we need to master them and not always act them out. It’s not going to be an easy journey but it’s worth it.
All emotions tell us something about ourselves; we can feel jealous of a fellow person, who’s winning at all times, it shows a part of us that’s yet to be taken over by the Holy Spirit. When we ask that we be broken and remodeled into His will for our lives; He takes us through tests!
As a single lady who is waiting patiently, busy fulfilling purpose and trusting God for the best fit for her, different types of things will be thrown at you. Friends, family, people you thought had your back may not see through the lens of God’s will only if they are aligned like you. Different notions will rise up, some will believe your standards are too high, you are too ambitious and they leave you out of their special moments because you see life differently.
Friends may become Foes! Family members may become Strangers! There are days you may feel some not-so-good emotions towards them. Your feelings may be valid, but do not dwell on them, tell it to God! He only can work on your emotions, and help you master them, as you yield to Him.
Writer: Ayomide Fasakin