We had a discussion one day in my church about relationship with in-laws. If you’ve been in meetings like that, you’d know how relationship and family discussions can be. Different opinions usually fly around, and you almost can’t tell who’s right or wrong.
So, this particular day, someone asked a question – Can you allow your in-law live with you? Perhaps your husband or wife’s sister, brother, parents, or cousins. Omo, come and see comments from singles, especially the ladies.
Many aggressively stated that they would never let any family member stay with them because there would be no privacy, and then see finish go happen. Others said their in-laws can only visit but not live with them because “what’s that?” Others had some compelling reasons. And there I was, a co-single lady, sitting and listening to the various comments from my sisters in the Lord. I honestly had no opinion on the subject.
Finally, someone helped out – a married woman. I’ve always said that the best person to advise you is someone who has experience. The undertone of her response was, “You ladies don’t know anything,” and I agreed.
This woman said, “One piece of advice I’ll give you single ladies is to get rid of everything you think you know. Marriage comes with many surprises, and you might end up doing things you never thought you’d do. The earlier you accept that fact, the easier it will be to adjust when you find yourself in those situations. Let love be your guiding principle and not what you’ve seen or heard other people do.”
Get rid of everything you think you know. Honestly, all the single ladies in the church– including me – need to learn this, and that’s what I believe my readers also need to know. And this is not just about letting your in-laws live with you or not. It’s about every opinion you have concerning marriage and its intricacies.
Thankfully, we are in the days where ladies have more freedom and liberty. Many of us do not have to experience many of the things our mothers and grandmothers did. However, we should not allow the wokeness of this generation make us lose sight of what is essential in a home – love and acceptance.
No matter what the latest trend in society is today, and no matter what the community is saying on this subject, the best thing to do is to go into your marriage with an open mind. Let love guide your decisions. Let our decisions be Christ-like.
There’s this meme that I’ve seen on social media. It says, “Learn to make sacrifices in your relationship. ‘I’m not the calling type,’ ‘I’m not the chatting type.’ Jesus who died for you, was he the dying type?” Funny but very accurate. Jesus didn’t have to die for us, but he chose to. Now, no one is saying you should die for anyone; all you need to do is to be ready to make little sacrifices.
It may not always be easy, but please, let go of what you know. Marriage is a school, and only those who are willing to learn will come out in flying colours.
Writer: Precious Ajala